Career lessons from parenting, getting into “the arena”, and exploring the Amazon

Are you in the arena, or are you on the sidelines?

The “in the arena” message is a reference to a quote mentioned as today’s ‘Must-Read’. This is a special one for me, so make sure you spend some time with that.

As a parent of four young children, I thought I’d shed some light on the fact that we can learn lessons that we can apply to careers from all areas of life. Right now, that’s parenting. You might also take things from your efforts in athletics, community service, your faith tradition, or others.

We’re trying to build great, meaningful lives, not just careers. Make sure to look at the big picture!

In today’s newsletter:

• 3 things parenting teaches us about career growth

• A former US president exploring uncharted waters

• Hot Jobs

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MUST-READ

This is one of the greatest quotes I know. Read this more than once. Absorb it.

"It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat."

—Theodore Roosevelt

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CAREER TIPS

What Parenting Has Taught Me About Career Success

Last year, my wife and I welcomed our fourth child into the world. Parenting is busy and stressful, mostly because you care so much about the kids you are raising.

Of course, there are many parallels between parenting and career and leadership success. Here are just a few!

Be Present

If there is any area of my life that has taught me the importance of being present, it's parenting. I have a personal tendency to want to escape from the challenges and frustrations that come from raising kids. It's easy to find a distraction, check out on my phone, or try and get away.

I'm not proud of it, but sometimes my wife has to politely nudge me and say, "Come back to us."

Yet some of the most beautiful moments I've had in my life have been when I was fully present with my family. The conversations we have, the smiles and laughs we share, and even the increased ability to deal with a toddler tantrum all stem from being more present.

This same principle helps me as I try to be a better coach, trainer, facilitator, speaker, and consultant. When I am present, I can get in the flow, connect deeply with those I work with, and make great progress together.

It's a constant battle for me, but one that is immensely important for success and fulfillment.

How can you be more present with those you live and work with?

Listen. Really Listen

This is connected to the principle of being present but distinct enough that I wanted to mention it on its own.

Kids (and coworkers) want to be heard. Listening to them also makes them feel seen. They feel like they are a part of a family, not just something to be managed. This is true whether my 9-year-old wants to tell me every detail of a book she has been reading, or my 3-year-old wants to tell me what he wants to wear to bed.

Taking time to listen improves our bond and helps us work together to accomplish our goals as a family.

Quick story: A few years ago, I had to learn how bad of a listener I was at work. I did a 360-degree review at work, during which about 13 people gave anonymous feedback about working with me and my performance.

The big theme—Jeff doesn't listen.

That stung. I cared about being a good team member and leader, but I had some serious work to do.

So, I put reminders on my computer and in shared areas and gave my team permission to remind me to listen. I wasn't perfect, but my awareness increased, and they helped me be accountable.

We grew together as a team and achieved some big things!

Teach Problem Solving

One of the tough balances of parenting is figuring out what to do for your kids, what to supervise, and what to allow them or expect them to do for themselves. Household chores, homework, music practice, and even feeding themselves all need to be done, but who will take responsibility?

One area in particular that is difficult for kids to learn is how to solve problems, such as problems with relationships or something that is stuck.

In our home, we attempt to help our kids build the identity of being "problem solvers." Instead of just giving them answers, we ask them a question. We try to help guide them to answers they figure out themselves and think through ways they can reach a solution. Sometimes, they need extra help, and if so, we are there to assist them. Yet, ideally, they can grow in their capacity to solve more complex challenges.

I see this same challenge with many engineers and leaders I work with. How much should they do themselves vs. delegate or share with their team? How do they teach them? Should everything be spelled out, or should there be some autonomy?

No professional wants to be treated like a robot, but they also need to be supported. Find the balance and help them take responsibility to become "problem solvers" and increase capacity.

Sure, this means not everything will go smoothly at first—it's a process—but it's worth investing in your people!

These are just a few of the lessons being a father has taught me. It's a good reminder that we are more than just our careers and occupations; all areas of life can run together to help us grow holistically. I am an engineer, sure, but I have so many other pieces to who I am that help me live a fulfilled life. Being a father is one of those roles.

What lessons are you learning in other areas of your life that you can apply to your career?

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Nikola Tesla, born on July 10, 1856, in Smiljan, Croatia (then part of the Austrian Empire), was a brilliant and enigmatic inventor, engineer, and futurist. He immigrated to the United States in the late 19th century and quickly gained recognition for his innovative work in electrical engineering. Tesla's contributions include the development of alternating current (AC) electrical systems, numerous inventions related to electricity and magnetism, and pioneering work in wireless communication. Despite his incredible accomplishments, he faced financial challenges and spent his later years in relative obscurity, but his legacy as one of history's greatest inventors endures, with his name associated with countless technological advancements and the Tesla electric car company bearing his name in the 21st century.

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📚 BOOK RECOMMENDATION

The River of Doubt: Theodore Roosevelt's Darkest Journey by Candace Millard

This book was certainly an eye-opener. Who knew that Theodore Roosevelt literally traveled and helped to map a previously unknown river in the Amazon rainforest (and barely survived doing it)?

This book taught me a few things: Proper planning, getting great leaders around you, teamwork, and good old grit/perseverance. Roosevelt and his men overcame nearly impossible odds, and it’s all told in a gripping story that will have you on the edge of your seat even though it happened over 100 years ago.